my weekend

consisted of this:

Friday night - Work Xmas party - was a fancy dress party (1950's) - and I WON! Not so good was the fact that I left my prize in the cab *doh*. Party was excellent and I feel like I have cemented some friendships there. I am really loving my workplace. Drank a lot of wine (well what else do you do at these things) and played some lawn bowls. I dressed up as Stepford wife - thanks to Savers of course!

Saturday morning began quite slowly lol, with some soda water and dry toast and then off at up to birthday party no 1. A fairy party for a 3yo. Survived that by drinking ginger beer and eating various party treats. Off home for a quick change into super hero costumes and then onto birthday party no 2; a batman party. With a brief stop over at one of the local coffee shops for a skinny latte take away (for me). Make sure that lolly bags are given to us due to the massive consumption of sugar throughout the day already and then drive to our local fruit and vegie shop. This shop is an amazing, but only recent find. We've been living in our area for more than 4 years and it was only when I was discussing our area with a work colleague that lives close by that I was made aware of it. You can buy just about anything in there (as long as it is grown in Australia and is in season) and it is delicious - the guy that owns it, works in the shop and he encourages people to try the food before buying it to make sure they like it. He gave me a strawberry yesterday and my goodness, it was the sweetest little strawberry I have ever had! They don't do plastic bags there, it is either bring your own or get a box. And the icing on the cake is the fact that they welcome the children into the store - my children walked in yesterday in their dress ups - with no shoes on - sugared up to the hilt. A recipe for disaster in normal circumstances.. but the employees instantly engaged with them and encouraged them to look, shop and purchase their own fruit. Brilliant little shop: isn't it just wonderful when you find a little shop like that?

Saturday night was shared with our neighbours - I had a beer and it instantly made me feel better - and we sat around in the front yard for most of the night.

Sunday - woken up around 9am (ah, pleasure to sleep in) and breakfast in bed (sunday special in this house, always pancakes of some description) followed by a trip to a shopping centre to do the fortnightly shop. A nice lazy day (well we mowed the lawn, washed the car and did general household stuff).

Now back to work tomorrow. Oh and I guess start to think about XMAS eeeeek.

out of retirement

Hello all,

Long time between updates... I was brought back by 2 comments from lovely Jenn and Melissa. I thought I would briefly update.

So it is now 11 months post student life. I have changed jobs - I am now working at a major public hospital - initially in rehab and now over in acute (gen med). Such a different world going from rehab to acute. Because people are medically unstable, it isn't always possible to assess and have contact with patients. In my last rehab position (within the same hospital) I would set my own timetable, work within a team -but leave hospital grounds and visit people within their own homes. Now, I'm based with a tight team of colleauges, as well as the ward staff (interns, nurses and other allied health) and my patients are there becuase they are unwell - and their medical needs can be unpredictable. And some die.

To say I think this will be a challenge is an understatement. But I think I have it in me and I do love the pace of the hospital environment.

I cant' remember if I mentioned this in previous posts, but J commenced a full time teaching position this year (ongoing too!) and he is going great guns. He has been asked to teach year 12 English next year - which means they obviously think he is capable - so he is pretty chuffed about that.

Our house is pretty much cruising along at the moment, we've all just adjusted to our lives and now studying is like a distant memory for us. Just yesterday during a break, I was discussing with fellow workers that this was only my 11th month out ... which brought about all the questions about the last few years of studying, thereby forcing me to reflect upon this time. Looking back, I don't even know how I got through those last months (never mind the last years) . We are still 'enjoying' our newfound financial freedom (we just came back from a trip to the Gold Coast) and we have a little savings - working it up to purchase something big (ie - house/investment).

Life is pretty good here.

I'll try to come back again soon to update. My life is a lot less chaotic now than it was my last blog update.

the coming 3 days

today - I graduate. I have been invited to special drinks for sw honours students where they will present awards as well. I pick up my regalia at 5.30pm - drinks go from 6-7.30pm and then the ceremony starts at 8pm. There are nibbles afterwards. I am taking my mother, my stepfather, j and my children. Slightly nervous that the children will be exhausted and lose it somewhere during the ceremony, but I really want them to be there.

tomorrow - I am going out for dinner with some of my closest friends (incl some that are flying in just to celebrate with me).

saturday - J and I hold a massive party to say thank you to all of our friends who have supported us over the past 6-8 years.

Am I excited? So much so that I can't sleep, hence the 6am blogging.

eek. A long pause between posts

For anybody left reading (I bet not a lot of you lol) I've been thinking about updating for quite a while because, quite frankly, I have lots to tell! Everything is going so well - since I've last posted - I've done LOTS. So lets start;

Work

Work has been going fantastically. I have now dropped down to 3 days a week (much more manageable in terms of balancing family life etc) and I have been asked to stay until August, working 3 days a week (ca$ual rates too). I've stopped stumbling 'Hi, I'm a stu.. social worker' and now my profession just rolls off my tongue naturally. Working until August really, really works for me - as it gives me 8 months to really ground myself - get some experience, network extensively - and then in a few months, start looking for a job that I want. There are some mighty good ones circulating atm too. I also really love who I work with - I love working within a multi-disciplinary team, especially one that works - cause apparently lots of them don't.

Home

Home I can pretty much rave about. J has been working full time doing CRT work ($$$), so for the first time in six years - our household has EXHALED fully. We have been dutifully reporting every cent of income to Centrelink and for the past 2 fortnights our payments have been ZERO. A cause for celebration in this house, let me tell you. Apparently after a number of zero payments Centrelink will send a letter saying that they have cancelled any payments/entitlements - that will be when the real celebration will begin.

Little J & N are just going great guns at school/kinder/cc respectively. Little J has grabbed onto literacy and just totally run with it, we are shocked about how fast he is learning to read. He bounces out of bed every week day, excited and happy to be going to school. We are very happy. N is attending childcare 3 days per week (my work days) and then going to kinder 1 morning. Because childcare is so locked up around here, we have had to spread N's care across 2 centres - one across the road from my work! So now one day per week, N and I battle the crowds on the trains (ha, they can't beat me I bought a new pram just for this reason - attempt to defeat me at your peril), giggling and talking the whole way along - it feels kinda nice to know that my youngest baby is so close during my work day and as an added bonus, it forces me to finish on time or close to it as I don't want him to be there until 6pm at night. So far he loves it and is actually relishing the time spent with me. We both are.

I do have something else to add which is quite important, but thought it was deserving of it's own title.

Bogan Mobile

The lovely 'ol car (read: pile-o-shit) has been retired. Yes, you heard it right. Last week, we became the proud owners of a newish car, bought entirely with our savings (partially stimulated by K.Rudd). My children practically wept with joy at the amazing wonderful car that we now own. The car comes from a friend of a friend (highly regarded - especially with regard to the servicing and upkeep of the car). This time last year we would have NEVER imagined ourselves in this type of car; in fact I've been known to heckle at cars which are similar. But, after we were told about it - we looked at each other and went "YEAH baby!!" - J was sold on the 10 CD stacker (?!), while I melted when I saw the condition it was in, tinted windows, LPG conversion.

So what is it?
.
.
.
.
A freakin' Landrover. Yes, you read right. We live 6km away from the CBD of a large capital city and now we own a Landrover discovery (V8) - 7 seater.

And now the poor Ford/Holden/bogan car sits all forlorn in the driveway, with no number plates (removed by some cruel person in order to get a refund for remaining duration of the registration). Now it awaits a call to the wrecker, to remove and "wreck" this vehicle. As much as I have spoke badly of this car (or lawn mower - as it sounded in it's last days), it never once broke down on us in all the time we had it. Well, the breaks failed and most of the engine was held together with gaffa tape, but you know...

So now, a majestic bloody Landrover sits in our yard. Our neighbours marvelled, our friends have cooed and we cannot.stop.driving.it. And you will not believe the price that we paid for it..

So yes, life is pretty amazing right now. Next up on the list in our house is; graduation ceremony! Dinner at an amazing restaurant with some delicious friends and a huge party that we're throwing to say thank you to everybody that supported us and cheered us on through the years. A party that a number of guests are flying in for.

Off I go again, best get ready for the week. Hope everybody is going well, I might have to check up on all my fave blogs..

Wednesdays

I love them.

Wednesdays mean that I don't work. Normally right now I would be running around - showering and rushing to get on the 7.40 train. But today, I sit with my machine coffee (thanks Shel ;)) listening to the boys giggle uproariously as they negotiate their breakfast. No childcare for little N; so for the first time this year, he gets to help take J to school for drop off.

Ah. I just hope I can maintain this nice sense of balance. Wish me luck wont you?

Right, time for breakfast I suppose...have a lovely day.

Tagged by Melissa + update

The rules of the game: 1. Go to the section of your computer where you store all of your photos.
2. Select the 6th folder.
3. Select the 6th photo from that folder.
4. Post and explain about that picture.
5. Tag 6 other people



This photo is of my parents with N a couple of years ago when we took a trip to the snow for the day. Great idea!

Not around much as you can see. Work is stil incredibly challenging and busy. I love it (and I loved it even more last week when I got my first pay...!!). The workplace is honestly one of the best I have ever worked in. Teamwork just works at this place. The workload has been very challenging for me; not something a grad would normally undertake - but oh so good - so worthwhile, meaningful and so positive. It's starting to become second nature to describe myself as a sw, instead of student sw lol. This week coming is my last week at 4 day - I'm moving down to 3 days per week and I am really looking forward to it. I want to be home a little more with my boys and I think 3 days will be a really nice balance. My locum position has been extended for a large amount of time, so things are just cruising along nicely.

My partner has also been working (CRT work so v.rewarding financially) and he has 3 schools ringing him so he hasn't been out of work for the last few weeks.

We've been out looking at cars; so we can retire the 'ol bogan mobile as she is getting on a little bit. My oldest son has been excited beyond belief and begged us to go and have a look at car yards around us.. do you think he is excited, or what?

I have neglected the gym entirely for the past few weeks, but I've decided that tomorrow; it's back on - I feel so much better when I exercise; I'm getting daily headaches again - which had disappeared when I was doing the gym routine every day.

I made a snap decision today to book a flight to spend a weekend with my mum and sister for my sister's 50th birthday. So next friday my mum and I are flying up and I'm going to spend 48 hours with my mum and big sis. I'm really looking forward to it - I haven't seen my sister in years.

Ah, I can hear my children calling.. I must go. I've emailed my thesis to a few of you - I'd love to hear what you think...

More info..

Sorry I really was blogging on the run yesterday! I was on my way to work. I've neglected this good old blog lately as real life has taken its toll.

First;

Thesis

As I mentioned in my earlier blog post, I received my mark on monday. Yesterday, I met with my gorgeous supervisor (gosh, I love her) to receive the hard copy of my thesis and the actual official markings etc. My thesis overall received a mark of 84 (two scores averaged), so clearly a H1. My honours mark overall was made up of my 4th year subjects averaged (worth 50%) and my thesis (50%) which equalled 80 - so just into the H1 arena. But pfft, I'm there and thats all that matters. The remarks about my thesis was simply mind blowing. On the train on the way home yesterday, I read my thesis again (spotted 3 editing errors oops) and went hmm it is pretty good, lol - perhaps these markers were on the money!! I will include the following comments; there were pages of them, but will just include the really special ones (to me):

"The thesis was a pleasure to read. It is thorough, authentic, sound and
comprehensive. The study makes a significant contribution to our knowledge
of this area, and especially the potential role of sw. I would encourage the
student to publish her work widely and present the material at relevant
conferences. The hosp sw special interest group of the AA SW, for example,
may be interested in a presentation of the findings". "The way the findings
are presented is very respectful of the participants and they are reported
in a way that is authentic. The use of quotations, stories and other
material about the experiences of these women is very effective" "The
conclusion is strong and these findings are significant. Well done". "The
study is excellently executed and the theoretical framework is well
justified" "The thesis tackles a difficult area, and does this with great
rigour. It is heartening to see the centrality of sw"

If anybody else is interested in reading the full actual thesis, it is massive. But I am happy to email if anybody really wants to have a read... I also have a small report that will work better as it is only 2 pages long!

Honestly, I had no idea that I would feel so immensely proud of this - this piece of work is my own, from inception to submission - I have had control of what is in there, how it looks, what it says - obviously without the amazing women that contributed it would be nothing - but I am still very proud of myself. Its a funny feeling. And that one of the markers has encouraged me to do something with the results feels so amazing. They believe the results are that powerful and the area so deserving. Wow.

Work

Work is excellent, but oh-so-tiring. So much more tiring than when i was there as a student. There is no protected case load and nobody there that I can bounce ideas off. I am there mostly making decisions on the run and learning fast about managing up to 16 patients at once - it is a grade2/3 position so not a normal 1st job after graduation! I'm really seeing the beauty in having a year or two to be a graduate or grade 1 practitioner. Just the extra level of support would be really beneficial to me - still I'm surviving and flourishing even. I seem to work really well under pressure. I really, really enjoy working. I'm half-heartedly looking for something a bit more permanent - if something excellent comes along I will apply for it, but otherwise I'm really happy working where I am. The income is excellent, the team type atmosphere is fantastic, the work itself is really rewarding and the skills I'll come out with will really help to get me another job.

Home

Little J has settled into school really well. He is bringing home his readers and talking about his schooling. He has some new friends (all girls) who he adores and his favourite class is art and computers. N is also going great guns - especially considering how much his life has ramped up this year, he is loving 3yo kinder - but really does appreciate the down days at home. Today at 3pm, he is yet to put on any clothes - he loves that type of freedom lol. We recently bought them a bunk bed and they are loving it and appreciating their personal space (they were sleeping together in a single bed, by choice!!). J is also starting more regular amounts of CRT work. Which is great for him and at the same time, he is putting together a research proposal that he will complete this year as part of his Masters (so back on the train ride again, but not me this time thank god!) and last night he was asking me for advice about the methodology - never thought I'd be one to give him academic advice! So apart from that, our household is healthy, happy and chugging along quite happily.

A week for firsts..

Little J started prep (he LOVES it - totally adores it)

I started work today (omg so busy - I have a caseload of 15 patients!)

J got a phone call and did his first day of paid teaching - CRT work!!

N starts 3yo kinder tomorrow.

J and I are marvelling at how lucky we are. What a fabulous start to our year. I have a feeling that 2009 is for us.

I'm just SO happy! SO SO Happy!!

Back..

Wow, I've been a bit neglectful of my blog, apologies for that, but things have been super busy here - oh and HOT.

My thesis is done and will be submitted tomorrow. My supervisor says that I write beautifully (not that you ever see it here - I'm always blogging on the run ;) ) . If anyone is interested in hearing more about my research, let me know and I'll devote a whole post to it. Anyway I'm off to uni tomorrow to drop back my uni books that were due back last month, have a coffee with my supervisor and submit 2 bound copies of my thesis and then pick up a letter saying I've completed my degree and eligible to join association - just in time for...

Starting work on thursday! I start 4 days a week for the next few weeks and my job hunting will take on a more serious position. Through networking there is a possibility of a job coming my way, but I don't want to jinx it so will not say too much yet. Suffice to say that it would suit me down to the ground. Anyway, I'm looking forward to returning to work. It will be so bizarre going there though, as the last time I was there I was a student and now I'm there as a paid employee. Another great part is the other student has secured a maternity leave position there so at least we'll be in the same boat lol. Two beginners treading water together lol.

My oldest son starts school tomorrow and I am so excited because HE is so excited about it. This morning he woke up and said 'oh I can hardly believe it, I am so EXCITED to be a prep Mummy!'. Our plan for tomorrow is to drop our youngest son off at childcare and then J and I taking little j for a babycino before going to school. Tonight I will be preparing school bags, laying out uniforms and getting lunches together , what a proud moment for me. All the other kinder mothers think I'll be the sook tomorrow, but I don't think so. I'm proud and excited for him. He is so ready for school. To celebrate this momentous occasion, his body decided to mark this by losing his 3rd tooth (top front one) so now he looks like a big boy.

Well unless you live out of Australia, you will most likely know that we have just endured a horrendous spate of 40+ degree days here (with one reaching 45) - urgh. For those days we camped out in the loungeroom on air mattresses in front of the aircon. Very cute to sleep all together, the boys loved it. I have to admit though, after those few days we were very happy to get back into our own beds - air mattresses are not the most comfortable - especially when they appear to have a slow leak! To escape the heat during the day, we sought refuge at our local pool and this is where an amazing thing occurred. Everyday we went, we ran into at least one of little j's friends - and by the end of day 3 - little j was swimming like a fish. Why is this exciting you ask? Because last year, most of little j's swimming lessons were devoted to getting him to putting his face in the water. He was terrified! By the end of the year he had progressed to putting his head in the water but refused to take his feet off the ground. Well! On friday his face was barely above water and he was swimming from one side to another. Such a confidence booster for him - I only wish I had the camera to capture the absolute joy on his face. And n! He was also swimming - and he was throwing himself in the water and diving to me for the whole time. I'd forgotten how fun the swimming pool is, so today we're off to another local pool for a few hours.

Unfortunately J has not managed to secure a position for this year. He has had a number of interviews, applied for stacks of jobs but keeps getting pipped at the post (being ranked no 2) - he is pretty devastated, and truth be told so am I. I had hoped that at this time we wouldn't be struggling financially so much... but we are actually worse off at the moment because our childcare has stopped being subsidised and instead of paying $6 a week, we are now paying $165. Eek. So hopefully he will get some emergency teaching and will manage to pick up a job soon. He is so fantastic, he is clever, he did so well at uni and his portfolio is amazing but apparently it isn't easy for graduates to get jobs - and there were 5000 graduates who finished teaching last year. So that coupled with experienced teachers is really a lot of pressure. Those that know him are gobsmacked that he hasn't been successful yet. He has such a way with teenagers and is just like one of thos cool teachers that we all used to have (mine was in grade 5, he played in a band and drove a retired ambulance to school - man he was so cool). Anyway, I have every faith that his time will come.

Exercise has only just started up again. I stood on the scales the other day and I've put on 2kg . That 2kg is devoted entirely to the editing and writing of my thesis. Back onto it next week.

I have so much more to talk about. Sydney, family, life - but I think I will leave it there - and make it a resolution to post more often.

I'm here

Just recovering from the general Xmas mayhem followed by travelling and spending almost 2 weeks away from home. I've been home for almost a week, but have been chained to the PC making final touches to my written work for my research.

I'll be back, I have plenty of photos to share... and lots of stories to tell. Including an instalment of the never ending story about my father (not a good one I'm afraid) - lots to tell about Sydney, talk of my NYE resolutions (a bit late, I know) and all of our amazing expectations for what will hopefully be a fantastic year for us.

My Xmas

Happy Xmas eve everybody!

Sorry I have not been around much - we have been so busy, and I haven't been near the computer much (hmm, I need to be - but more on that later)

I've had an incredibly busy week - we've had;

My Dad come to visit for a whirlwind weekend

Yes you heard right. My Dad rushed in and then rushed out for a visit. I was sad that he didn't spend longer with me originally, but now to be perfectly honest.. I'm not sure I could cope with much longer. He literally is like a hurricane - whipping up and lurching from one situation to another. It was nice, he barely let go of me the entire time he was here - touching my arm - cuddling me, squeezing me. It was nice and I think I might have got to know him a little bit better too. He also came bearing gifts which were not expected, but greatly appreciated. I know he loves me. I really do, but I think he just finds it incredibly difficult to show this love to me, and the emotions scare him somewhat. He cried a little while he was here. I also had a number of phone calls from my aunt asking me to fly over to Perth as my grandmother is unwell. But I'm going to Sydney tomorrow, so any flights will have to happen after the 6th of January... watch this space. When I'm in a better frame of mind I will go into this visit further, I'm still just processing it all.

A 3yo birthday party

During the above chaotic visit, we had a little party for N. He invited 2 of his best friends (and their older brothers who happen to be best friends with J, so everybody was catered for) and went to his favourite park. Due to my Dad being here, J made a cake. I had promised N a 3D lightening McQueen cake - but that was very ambitious of me I must say! In the end, J cooked a cake and iced it to look like a road scene and put lightening McQueen and Chick on it. The children were still amazed by it and N was estatic that he had a Cars cake at all! It was such a beautiful warm, no hot day and a fun day was had by all. Normally we throw these mega-extravaganzas with 15 children, but you know what? They can be just as fun with 2 of your closest friends.

Xmas present buying

Yesterday we again armoured up and went into the fray that is known as Knifepoint. It actually wasn't as busy as I expected it to and I managed to get quite a few things at discounted price! Hooray! All presents are done, all gifts are wrapped and waiting till tonight for going underneath the tree. J and I renegged on our earlier agreement of no presents and bought each other a novel.

This is why we are buying J a camera for Xmas; (hint: look into the reflection on my sunglasses)

Organisation for our holiday

Eek, trying to get that done. So far I've packed the children's luggage - and just waiting on borrowing a suitcase from my Mum to pack ours. Two days ago I went to Savers and spent $100 on some gorgeous vintage pieces and dresses - god I love that store. So my suitcase could be overflowing... We are also having people come to stay for a couple of days, so we need to have the house in excellent shape when we leave. The family that are staying are lovely, and I want to make sure they are comfortable. I am slightly concerned about how our cat is going to go, in the last week he has decided to sleep on top of us every night (ie - sleeping on my chest, when I turn over he falls off but he gets straight back on). I best warn the family about that LOL. I am so looking forward to our holiday, I can't believe we are going tomorrow!

Job

Haven't heard a peep from the job yet. I'm losing hope about getting an interview, but I'm actually not that concerned you know? I wasn't sure that I was ready to go to work 4 days per week and I already do have a temporary position at my placement starting in Feb anyway. Something will come for me, I know it.

Thesis

Haven't done a thing, still. Today is the day that I am going to cut stuff out and have a good go at it. I promised my supervisor I'd put something in the mail for her to read over the holidays..exciting stuff, yes? She has also asked me if I could do 2 presentations for incoming students next year about my research and I'm just a girl who can't say no. I find it very difficult to say no, so looks like next year, I'll be doing 2 uni presentations!

Tagged by Shel

We are having Xmas eve dinner tonight and this is whats on the menu;

Entree

prawn cocktails (a nod to my favourite decade - the '80s)

Main

Cumin salt pork rack with baked peaches

potatoes, sweet potatoes, pumpkin, garlic beans, cauliflower cheese etc

Dessert

Cylie's ice cream pudding; ice cream with pistachio nuts, turkish delight, marshmallows, frozen raspberries and custard. Good god, it's going to be GOOD.

No alcohol for me - I'm on antibiotics due to a nasty sinus/no voice infection that I'm battling; so soda water for me tonight.

Take care and Merry Xmas all. I probably will not post again until early Jan. Take care and for some of you, I'll catch you soon xx

Happy birth day N

Happy 3rd birthday little one....

Tuesday, this week so far...

Birthday present for N.. done.

Shopping at Knifepoint.. pretty much done.

4 x batches of marshmallow cookies for gifts, parties etc.. done. (and before you even think I'm some type of Martha Stewart, my glorious man cooked them as I scurried around pretending to fluff around essay writing)

Presents shipped across Australia and the world... done.

Gym - twice this week - monday - boxing class and 15 min on bike. today - 30min running. (probably will not touch the surface considering I've been stuffing my face with those marshmallow cookies)

Kinder party attended - awww, so cute, so cute. My oldest baby has finished Kinder, roll on big school next year.

Thesis. Not.one.bit.

Savers = waah haven't got there.

so now what?

Well I'm sitting here on a sunday afternoon. All of my coursework has been completed. Tomorrow I will get up at 5.50am to go to cycle, then come home without having to rush to board the sardine line - I will take my children to Kinder/Child care and my might leisurely go home and make myself a yummy coffee (thanks Shel ;) ). Thats going to be strange. The next time I enter a workplace there will be not "student" in front of my name, and I will be getting paid!

While I am excited for the most part, I still have this dreaded thesis hanging above my head and until that is done I can not celebrate fully, so today/tomorrow/tuesday and beyond you will most likely find me with my head firmly down attempting to get as much done on my thesis as possible. Because I just want everything to be over, I want to celebrate with my family and do family things - and if I do happen to score my dream job - they want me to start straight away.

Now onto this dream job. I am currently trying to stop myself from getting my hopes up too much. The reality is that this workplace takes a number of students (I think approx 6), so it is very likely, strike that certain that out of that group of 6 students there will be at least one stand-out. Who will probably apply for the job and will be given it. I know how these things work, I truly do. What is keeping my hopes up is that I've had 2 phone calls from the head of SW there who knows my name and has spoken to me for over 45 minutes - very kindly explained the structure of their dept and gave me ideas of how else to get a job there (locum advice etc). But still, one must be realistic about this. I cannot let my random daydreams of working there next get the better of me. And its got nothing to do with being desparate for a job, because I really am not. I guess it is just the first time that I have felt passionate about a potential job - like I've been fiddling around - loving Women's health, writing about women's health, reading about women's health, hoping to get a placement there for the past 5 years and here is a real opportunity to play a part in shaping the experiences that women have. Look, I think I'll get an interview - surely on the strength of our telephone conversation I believe the woman I spoke to will grant me an interview - and the resume and cover letter I sent in today will surely impress them - but I'm not so confident on being given the job.

Anyway onto real life; my baby boy is turning 3 on Wednesday. His request for his birthday - a Lightening McQueen cake (eek!), um ok son. His request for friends, "I only want Oscar and Henry Mummy, they are my best friends". So looks like we might have a teeny, tiny get together at the park this weekend, because party is such short notice and so close to Xmas - and my beautiful grown up little boy will get his Lightening McQueen cake - oh and perhaps a birthday present from his parents. Best get onto that, and all the other related Xmas stuff that I have to do in the next 11 days. I haven't bought a thing for Xmas yet! Wheeeee, Knifepoint in the week before Xmas. My idea of pleasure, fun and laughter... NOT.

We fly out in 11 days - how exciting. Our trip to Sydney is shaping up to be fantastic. So far we have plans for NYE staying with gorgeous bunch of friends - for a day/night/day full of feasts and drinks alike. Our children will be delighted to play with a bunch of friends - it will be so much fun! We also plan to be the quintessential tourists up there - visit the Harbour bridge, catch a ferry, go to Taronga Zoo....um, eat out as much as possible..lol. Any other ideas?

Anyway, I smell all things that are good to eat on the stove. J has made a beautiful casserole type dish and my tummy is rumbling.

I think this is a sign that my posting here may well increase again.

xx Thanks for following and supporting me my lovely friends. Some of you have listened, patted and consoled me for the past 5 years - You know I love you all. Thanks xx.

ps - I so need to get myself to SAVERS!! I'm there tomorrow morning I predict ;)

Guess who is coming to visit next week?

My father. He rang me last night to confirm dates that he will be here in Melbourne and we spoke for approximately one hour.

Thats the first time we have ever spoken on the phone that long. It did end abruptly due to him becoming emotional, he is such an interesting person. I know there is love there, but he just doesn't know what to do with those emotions.

I'm really looking forward to seeing him. I'm also submitting my application for my dream job today. And aren't they just the funniest things? "I'm so excellent, my skills are everything you have ever been looking for..." lol, how difficult is it to rave about yourself!! Regardless, this is everything I have worked towards and now I will cross my fingers and hope that I score an interview. It is causing a little bit of insomnia as what the impact of working 4 days a week may do to my children. It wasn't what we initially planned, but I must do this. I hope my children will be ok and I can cope. I believe that this job will challenge every part of my practice.

well..

He didn't get the job. :( . The goodish news is he was one of 48 applicants for the position and he made it to the top 4 for interviews. From that he came second, with the number one applicant somebody who had already had 6 years of teaching experience. The interviewing panel told J that he had interviewed fantastically and that the difference in experience was the only thing that got the other person over the line.

J rang me today to tell me the news and was despondent and a bit down on himself. I almost cried (god I cry a lot don't I - I'd already sooked today, but more on that later) because I had really thought that this job was in the bag for him, so close to where we live and just convenient you know? He has applied for a couple of other jobs but lots of them have teachers sitting in them too, so he is not hearing back for interviews etc. I just want to hear his exhale when he gets a position, he so deserves this. Hopefully it will come his way soon.

Now onto my little meltdown - this morning I kinda lost it. Well it comes from the past four days of catching my ride to work in a tin of sardines (oops actually the train into the city - fuck me are Connex shite, or what! I actually have to take a deep breath and charge through the millions of other passengers on the train every morning, where I am touching at least 1o other people on that train ride in - awful), fiddling my thumbs as I wait at Southern Cross for a train that actually stops at my station (note to connex part two; this new system doesn't work very well for trains stations either side of the city loop), get to work and work my arse off - struggle home back in the sardine carriers - get home, say a cursory hello to my children and my husband, walk into the study - shut the door and then start my data analysis. Yes, it's pretty god damned awful at the moment.

Gym, nup no time for it. Yes and I am getting fatter as every day wears on too, thanks for asking. Parenting? Nup, no time for it. Well, when they are looking for me they come straight to the study and they are surprised when I'm not there. What an indictment Sex? nup, no time for it. But strangely enough plenty of time to dream about it with inappropriate people. Discussion with my husband? Nup, no time for it. Hey, I talk. Me: 'harumph' *sigh*.. snore. Screaming like a banshee, stomping my feet and pulling my hair out with frustration because I couldn't get my printer to work at 7.35am this morning to print out a 35 page interview and I was scared I was going to miss the "sardine" to work - Oh yes, all the time in the world for that one. My children now think I am stark raving mad woman as I dissolved into tears over a printer, A PRINTER!! I tell you! So it didn't get much better, I missed the "sardine" and caught the next "sardine" and managed to score a prime position, squashed up against the door, prime real estate really (apart from the seat that the lucky bastards who live in McMansion Ville get to have, well I guess you gotta get something for living out that far, right?). I saw my gorgeous supervisor, who I just adore and she has given me the day off so I can concentrate on my uni stuff. Down side is, I'll still have to fight the other fish on the train, but once I get there - I can shut my office door and write with limited interruptions (on call for my patients, but as they are being d/c at such a quick rate, I doubt I'll be needed ;)).

My weekend away with my girlies has been delayed. I know it is the right reason, we shouldn't go - I need the extra time to study, but boy was I looking forward to it.

Back to my study xx

Excellent news

Yesterday I was officially verbally offered a temp position doing my supervisors role in February (now that is a compliment!! - grade 2) and then cover leave for another sw in another ward. I've also been asked to apply for a full time position for maternity leave (and to consider another part time maternity position), but I don't think I will go for it - not sure I want full time at this stage as there is too much going on at home with J starting prep and N starting 3yo kinder.

So I start in February - which is lovely as I get to have the whole of January off with my family, settle J into school and then start work.

I'm home a little later today because J has prep integration morning - very exciting and scary to be ordering his uniform and watching him go off with his peers to experience prep. I then have to rush off to work to facilitate a discharge.

As evidenced by previous posts, my tolerance levels have been taking a battering, so instead of attempting to engage with fuckwits, I've decided to batten down the hatches and keep my head down for the next few weeks.

Oh and how is this? One of my participants in my research contacted me to let me know that she is 5 months PREGNANT!! I burst into tears - I didn't realise how much I had emotionally invested whilst interviewing her and it just so happened that I have been poring over a hard copy of her interview, so I was back there in her story when I found out. She knew she was pregnant when she did the interview with me but she was at the danger period where she had always m/c so didn't dare believe it was going to continue. But it has *sob*, what wonderful news eh? Great news.. great great news!

dreaming

As I try to do everything I can to avoid what is most important at the moment (writing my results chapter), I just thought of something that I can share here.

Last night, while I was taking a break from my uni work, I walked into the living area and saw J sitting facing the stereo, glass of wine in one hand, eyes shut, posture relaxed and him just enjoying a quiet moment with the music. I haven't seen him doing that for such a long time and my reaction shocked me. Do you know what I did? I burst into tears and his eyes flew open with concern - but my tears weren't about sadness or longing, they were tears of relief and joy. Now I might be still plumbing the depths of my final weeks of study, but for my glorious husband - friday was his last day of uni. All he has left is 7000 words (due this friday) and another couple of days at his placement. Then it is all over for him. 5 hard years and it comes down to this - this might sound overdramatic but I cried because I haven't dared to think about what comes next in great detail, but over the past few weeks cracks and glimmers of hope are starting to appear. We are that bit less careful with our shopping and feelings of panic and dread don't hit as I see the checkout price. We've started to think more seriously about what we will do next year, the car, the income, the freedom to think about things.. I cannot explain to you how this is feeling. Anyway back to J. I haven't seen him this relaxed this entire year - he has been working day and night - he has also been shouldering a lot of the financial pressure that I normally take on. It was just so lovely to see him like this, so the tears flowed freely and they were tears of relief.

Can you imagine what I'm going to be like when we both graduate? I think I'm going to howl like a baby when I get to walk up on stage - it is all seems so dream like that this is going to occur - and I know that some people don't value the ceremonial aspect of graduating very much, but for the past 5 years I've been visualising this moment for myself and when I watched J graduate last July with his undergraduate degree, I cried buckets for him. But it isn't just me that I'll be sooking for, because I already know there are a number of people who will be there; my mum and Mario who packed up her life and moved to Melbourne and has moved her life around to help us with our childcare in the past two years. Who moved to live in the same suburb to support us in any way they could; lending us money when times got really tough for a bit there this year, who took me out and bought me shoes last year before I started my first placement because I didn't have any and couldn't afford them, who has encouraged us and cheered us on all the way. I will never be able to repay them for the love and support they have given to us. And so they must both be there to watch. And to my special little boys who have only known parents who are stressed and who always have so much on our plates - who know how to get to Melbourne uni by car, train and could probably get to the library unaided. They also know the trains to Monash and think the computer is permanently attached to mummy's fingers. I also have many, many friends who have loved, listened and supported us the whole way through and we have tried to figure out how best to say thank you to those around us, so we are planning this big catered party in May 09 - the weekend of my graduation and though details are sketchy at this point, we think we will throw open the doors of our humble abode for family and friends to say a big thank you.

And see just like that, I waste 30 minutes dreaming about next year. SMACK, get back to work - how the hell am I going to keep myself on task?

Things to make me smile on a friday..

ok time for positive, happy happy joy joy post! These are all the wonderful things that have happened in the last week.

As of today I have completed nine (9) weeks of a 14 week placement!

Today I upped my caseload to eight. How cool is that? That is almost half of the patient load (20).

I have organised a drug and alcohol worker to come in and present at a PD session in a fortnight. Kudos points for me. :)

I have managed to continue to network with a variety of people with a sw at a major hospital here and she has invited me to visit her. And she is a Monash alum too (Distance education too, who would of thunk it - we DE people really do make freakin great sw's - my own supervisor is also ex Monash, in fact I started the same year as her).

Today I had a particularly long intro phone call with a family member - and didn't realise that my supervisor was hovering and as I hung up the phone she looked at me square in the face and said ' You are amazing!', she had overheard my conversation and thought I was excellent. Kinda hard to beat that compliment.

I won a Melbourne cup sweep on tuesday - giving me $36 and I've decided to take my family out for breakfast to celebrate.

Today my husband attended his last lecture of his degree.

My 5yo went under the water during his swimming lesson no less than 7 times and is so chuffed with himself.

My mum came home from her holiday and QLD and brought me the most beautiful earrings from Eumundi markets.

And next week - I'll be in week 10. And I'll have 4 weeks to go.


Only bad news that I have is my next deadline is looming. 17th November and my 1st draft of results is due. Best get onto that, eh?

Oh yeah and that I haven't been to the gym in almost 3 weeks but I'm off tomorrow for pump then cycle, wish me luck because I think I'm gonna need it.

I'm cranky.

I return to the land of the living today. I've spent the last 24-48 hours doing things which I will not go into on here, lest you are eating. But, I've lost a few kilos and I have been unable to eat for the past 2 days. Unfortunately just after my last blog post, my oldest son also came down with gastro and he and I have been taking turns in hugging the toilet bowl and laying about on the couches, him watching kids movies and me reading trashy magazines donated by my Mother.

I am unable to go to work today - where I work has a strict gastro policy, you must not attend work for THREE days after gastro, so all my worrying about work earlier in the week and then I end up with 3.5 days off out of 5 anyway. Looks like I will be working almost up until XMAS now. That makes me cranky.

I'm cranky about other things that I have read specifically today. Except to say that if you're going to insult someone - try a bit harder than resorting to lame sexist insults about 'hormones'. That makes the bile rise in my throat (not that it is too difficult at the moment ;)) and although I detest the person who made the comment that I am thinking of here, without reservation, whoever uses such rubbish in point scoring, shows a certain shallowness and most likely has little knowledge about gender and sexism. But then this will probably wash over the likely offenders, as they will excuse my crankiness or ranting, as "she's just hormonal". No I'm not. I JUST DON'T LIKE YOU.