well..

He didn't get the job. :( . The goodish news is he was one of 48 applicants for the position and he made it to the top 4 for interviews. From that he came second, with the number one applicant somebody who had already had 6 years of teaching experience. The interviewing panel told J that he had interviewed fantastically and that the difference in experience was the only thing that got the other person over the line.

J rang me today to tell me the news and was despondent and a bit down on himself. I almost cried (god I cry a lot don't I - I'd already sooked today, but more on that later) because I had really thought that this job was in the bag for him, so close to where we live and just convenient you know? He has applied for a couple of other jobs but lots of them have teachers sitting in them too, so he is not hearing back for interviews etc. I just want to hear his exhale when he gets a position, he so deserves this. Hopefully it will come his way soon.

Now onto my little meltdown - this morning I kinda lost it. Well it comes from the past four days of catching my ride to work in a tin of sardines (oops actually the train into the city - fuck me are Connex shite, or what! I actually have to take a deep breath and charge through the millions of other passengers on the train every morning, where I am touching at least 1o other people on that train ride in - awful), fiddling my thumbs as I wait at Southern Cross for a train that actually stops at my station (note to connex part two; this new system doesn't work very well for trains stations either side of the city loop), get to work and work my arse off - struggle home back in the sardine carriers - get home, say a cursory hello to my children and my husband, walk into the study - shut the door and then start my data analysis. Yes, it's pretty god damned awful at the moment.

Gym, nup no time for it. Yes and I am getting fatter as every day wears on too, thanks for asking. Parenting? Nup, no time for it. Well, when they are looking for me they come straight to the study and they are surprised when I'm not there. What an indictment Sex? nup, no time for it. But strangely enough plenty of time to dream about it with inappropriate people. Discussion with my husband? Nup, no time for it. Hey, I talk. Me: 'harumph' *sigh*.. snore. Screaming like a banshee, stomping my feet and pulling my hair out with frustration because I couldn't get my printer to work at 7.35am this morning to print out a 35 page interview and I was scared I was going to miss the "sardine" to work - Oh yes, all the time in the world for that one. My children now think I am stark raving mad woman as I dissolved into tears over a printer, A PRINTER!! I tell you! So it didn't get much better, I missed the "sardine" and caught the next "sardine" and managed to score a prime position, squashed up against the door, prime real estate really (apart from the seat that the lucky bastards who live in McMansion Ville get to have, well I guess you gotta get something for living out that far, right?). I saw my gorgeous supervisor, who I just adore and she has given me the day off so I can concentrate on my uni stuff. Down side is, I'll still have to fight the other fish on the train, but once I get there - I can shut my office door and write with limited interruptions (on call for my patients, but as they are being d/c at such a quick rate, I doubt I'll be needed ;)).

My weekend away with my girlies has been delayed. I know it is the right reason, we shouldn't go - I need the extra time to study, but boy was I looking forward to it.

Back to my study xx