32

Another year.

Day went like this.

Barely slept due to Bo-bo sick.

Wake up - to presents; beautiful bag (seriously beautiful), earrings and a silver briefcase of make up.

Receive phone call from my best friend over in England - forget that I'm supposed to be getting ready for uni as I sink into the couch and chat with her. God I love and miss her so much.

Breakfast - J makes me french toast with bacon. Yes I'm spoilt.

Off on the relatively empty train to uni - where I hear how to write a CV (yes, I've been doing it correctly for the past 14 years). Meet with my thesis supervisor who tells me she is impressed with my results chapter (that is a birthday present in itself). During a lecture I receive this text message from my mum

"I've tried to call you, I know you are very busy. You were born just over
30 mins ago, 32 years ago and what a beautiful baby you
were. You have grown into a beautiful young woman. So happy
birthday A, love mum"

I sooked. Goodbye lunch with the other students and academics. Wow, 2 weeks and we are there. 2 weeks and my placement is OVER.

Run to the train, get off at work and meet my supervisor - laugh hysterically all the way to our meeting for the afternoon. So much laughter, it is supposed to be work - but we discuss all manner of things. Gee I'm going to miss her when I finish. She gives me a present (an eyebrow wax voucher, which her partner frowned upon saying 'what do you think she's going to think about that?', whereas I was so happy. Eyebrow waxes are something I just cannot afford - so off to get the furry things shaped today)

Back from meeting and catch 6pm train home. Call mum to let her know I'll be home, so she comes over to see me. Have a quick dinner, cuddle with boys and then off to kinder AGM where I nominate to be vice-chair again.

Home at 8.40pm.

Such a busy day, yet still filled with my friends and people that I care about. I'm having dinner with my family tonight, and I think there is cake on saturday night with the boys so I'm looking forward to that.

What I'm not looking forward to is the crazy day I have at work today. Very tough and challenging stuff will probably be happening today. Can't say much more than that.

2 weeks to go.

well..

He didn't get the job. :( . The goodish news is he was one of 48 applicants for the position and he made it to the top 4 for interviews. From that he came second, with the number one applicant somebody who had already had 6 years of teaching experience. The interviewing panel told J that he had interviewed fantastically and that the difference in experience was the only thing that got the other person over the line.

J rang me today to tell me the news and was despondent and a bit down on himself. I almost cried (god I cry a lot don't I - I'd already sooked today, but more on that later) because I had really thought that this job was in the bag for him, so close to where we live and just convenient you know? He has applied for a couple of other jobs but lots of them have teachers sitting in them too, so he is not hearing back for interviews etc. I just want to hear his exhale when he gets a position, he so deserves this. Hopefully it will come his way soon.

Now onto my little meltdown - this morning I kinda lost it. Well it comes from the past four days of catching my ride to work in a tin of sardines (oops actually the train into the city - fuck me are Connex shite, or what! I actually have to take a deep breath and charge through the millions of other passengers on the train every morning, where I am touching at least 1o other people on that train ride in - awful), fiddling my thumbs as I wait at Southern Cross for a train that actually stops at my station (note to connex part two; this new system doesn't work very well for trains stations either side of the city loop), get to work and work my arse off - struggle home back in the sardine carriers - get home, say a cursory hello to my children and my husband, walk into the study - shut the door and then start my data analysis. Yes, it's pretty god damned awful at the moment.

Gym, nup no time for it. Yes and I am getting fatter as every day wears on too, thanks for asking. Parenting? Nup, no time for it. Well, when they are looking for me they come straight to the study and they are surprised when I'm not there. What an indictment Sex? nup, no time for it. But strangely enough plenty of time to dream about it with inappropriate people. Discussion with my husband? Nup, no time for it. Hey, I talk. Me: 'harumph' *sigh*.. snore. Screaming like a banshee, stomping my feet and pulling my hair out with frustration because I couldn't get my printer to work at 7.35am this morning to print out a 35 page interview and I was scared I was going to miss the "sardine" to work - Oh yes, all the time in the world for that one. My children now think I am stark raving mad woman as I dissolved into tears over a printer, A PRINTER!! I tell you! So it didn't get much better, I missed the "sardine" and caught the next "sardine" and managed to score a prime position, squashed up against the door, prime real estate really (apart from the seat that the lucky bastards who live in McMansion Ville get to have, well I guess you gotta get something for living out that far, right?). I saw my gorgeous supervisor, who I just adore and she has given me the day off so I can concentrate on my uni stuff. Down side is, I'll still have to fight the other fish on the train, but once I get there - I can shut my office door and write with limited interruptions (on call for my patients, but as they are being d/c at such a quick rate, I doubt I'll be needed ;)).

My weekend away with my girlies has been delayed. I know it is the right reason, we shouldn't go - I need the extra time to study, but boy was I looking forward to it.

Back to my study xx

Even better news!!

J has a job interview!!!!!!!!!

The assistant principal rang him today to tell him that he has been shortlisted to 4 from a rather a lot of candidates and that she was very impressed with his application!

His interview is next tuesday. WOOOHOOOOOO. I think my husband is going to be employed sooner rather than later! He only put his application in on wednesday for this job! He also put 4 more in for schools around us, so hopefully he will get one from these...

(sorry in advance that these posts have turned into nothing more than comments on our situation. I have little brain power to think about much more..)

In case you needed more proof..

J has just appeared with a copy of 'Sex and the City' on DVD, yes I am slow and no I haven't seen it yet and has demanded that I remove myself from the computer (I've been sitting here for most of the day)* and lie on the couch and watch it while he gets on the computer and continues transcribing for me.

God love him.


*well almost all day. I did get to the gym for body pump followed by spin and then a quick trip to my physio to do pilates with her. J has spent most of the day prancing and dancing with the boys, joyful that he has no more work to do. When I was having my shower this morning, he opened the door and said 'hey Lex, I've got so much more uni work to do.. NOT' and then pranced off again laughing. Ha.

Tomorrow I'm off to meet my friends new, fresh little 6 day old baby boy. She says he cries like a little kitten. Be still my rattling ovaries.

I'm off to lie on the couch.

My husband.

The man above all men.

HAS HANDED HIS LAST PIECE OF WORK IN FOR HIS DEGREE. What a fucking legend. And you know what else??? He just came in and offered to do some of my transcribing (yes, still doing that can you believe it?) because he loves me so.


He has 5 more days of his prac and then he is all finished.

now I just have to get there. Week 11 here I come....

Excellent news

Yesterday I was officially verbally offered a temp position doing my supervisors role in February (now that is a compliment!! - grade 2) and then cover leave for another sw in another ward. I've also been asked to apply for a full time position for maternity leave (and to consider another part time maternity position), but I don't think I will go for it - not sure I want full time at this stage as there is too much going on at home with J starting prep and N starting 3yo kinder.

So I start in February - which is lovely as I get to have the whole of January off with my family, settle J into school and then start work.

I'm home a little later today because J has prep integration morning - very exciting and scary to be ordering his uniform and watching him go off with his peers to experience prep. I then have to rush off to work to facilitate a discharge.

As evidenced by previous posts, my tolerance levels have been taking a battering, so instead of attempting to engage with fuckwits, I've decided to batten down the hatches and keep my head down for the next few weeks.

Oh and how is this? One of my participants in my research contacted me to let me know that she is 5 months PREGNANT!! I burst into tears - I didn't realise how much I had emotionally invested whilst interviewing her and it just so happened that I have been poring over a hard copy of her interview, so I was back there in her story when I found out. She knew she was pregnant when she did the interview with me but she was at the danger period where she had always m/c so didn't dare believe it was going to continue. But it has *sob*, what wonderful news eh? Great news.. great great news!

dreaming

As I try to do everything I can to avoid what is most important at the moment (writing my results chapter), I just thought of something that I can share here.

Last night, while I was taking a break from my uni work, I walked into the living area and saw J sitting facing the stereo, glass of wine in one hand, eyes shut, posture relaxed and him just enjoying a quiet moment with the music. I haven't seen him doing that for such a long time and my reaction shocked me. Do you know what I did? I burst into tears and his eyes flew open with concern - but my tears weren't about sadness or longing, they were tears of relief and joy. Now I might be still plumbing the depths of my final weeks of study, but for my glorious husband - friday was his last day of uni. All he has left is 7000 words (due this friday) and another couple of days at his placement. Then it is all over for him. 5 hard years and it comes down to this - this might sound overdramatic but I cried because I haven't dared to think about what comes next in great detail, but over the past few weeks cracks and glimmers of hope are starting to appear. We are that bit less careful with our shopping and feelings of panic and dread don't hit as I see the checkout price. We've started to think more seriously about what we will do next year, the car, the income, the freedom to think about things.. I cannot explain to you how this is feeling. Anyway back to J. I haven't seen him this relaxed this entire year - he has been working day and night - he has also been shouldering a lot of the financial pressure that I normally take on. It was just so lovely to see him like this, so the tears flowed freely and they were tears of relief.

Can you imagine what I'm going to be like when we both graduate? I think I'm going to howl like a baby when I get to walk up on stage - it is all seems so dream like that this is going to occur - and I know that some people don't value the ceremonial aspect of graduating very much, but for the past 5 years I've been visualising this moment for myself and when I watched J graduate last July with his undergraduate degree, I cried buckets for him. But it isn't just me that I'll be sooking for, because I already know there are a number of people who will be there; my mum and Mario who packed up her life and moved to Melbourne and has moved her life around to help us with our childcare in the past two years. Who moved to live in the same suburb to support us in any way they could; lending us money when times got really tough for a bit there this year, who took me out and bought me shoes last year before I started my first placement because I didn't have any and couldn't afford them, who has encouraged us and cheered us on all the way. I will never be able to repay them for the love and support they have given to us. And so they must both be there to watch. And to my special little boys who have only known parents who are stressed and who always have so much on our plates - who know how to get to Melbourne uni by car, train and could probably get to the library unaided. They also know the trains to Monash and think the computer is permanently attached to mummy's fingers. I also have many, many friends who have loved, listened and supported us the whole way through and we have tried to figure out how best to say thank you to those around us, so we are planning this big catered party in May 09 - the weekend of my graduation and though details are sketchy at this point, we think we will throw open the doors of our humble abode for family and friends to say a big thank you.

And see just like that, I waste 30 minutes dreaming about next year. SMACK, get back to work - how the hell am I going to keep myself on task?

Questions to puzzle me on a saturday?

Just curious to know why my entry entitled: gastro would be linked to a private forum?? It brings up a number of questions...

Why would anybody be interested in linking my entry about gastro in a thread? I mean it could only mean one of a couple of scenarios... either they (the members) felt sorry for me and thought 'oh poor Lex, come members look at how sick Lex and her family are, here look at this link where she decribes the family bodily output..' or they may perhaps not be a fan of me and are taking some peverse pleasure in laughing at our recent misfortune. I'll never know because I don't have access to their website. Whatever.

Now don't get me wrong, we all love our private little domains where we can chat, I'm a member of a few places myself. But I found the whole thing rather unsettling seeing in this blog history that I had been linked onto a private forum, especially out of all the pages that I have on this blog - there are plenty that are much more interesting ;) than my families gastro.

Ho hum. I'm back off to do my study thing. If anybody knows why my posts would appeal to a select few members of women here, could they enlighten me?

Things to make me smile on a friday..

ok time for positive, happy happy joy joy post! These are all the wonderful things that have happened in the last week.

As of today I have completed nine (9) weeks of a 14 week placement!

Today I upped my caseload to eight. How cool is that? That is almost half of the patient load (20).

I have organised a drug and alcohol worker to come in and present at a PD session in a fortnight. Kudos points for me. :)

I have managed to continue to network with a variety of people with a sw at a major hospital here and she has invited me to visit her. And she is a Monash alum too (Distance education too, who would of thunk it - we DE people really do make freakin great sw's - my own supervisor is also ex Monash, in fact I started the same year as her).

Today I had a particularly long intro phone call with a family member - and didn't realise that my supervisor was hovering and as I hung up the phone she looked at me square in the face and said ' You are amazing!', she had overheard my conversation and thought I was excellent. Kinda hard to beat that compliment.

I won a Melbourne cup sweep on tuesday - giving me $36 and I've decided to take my family out for breakfast to celebrate.

Today my husband attended his last lecture of his degree.

My 5yo went under the water during his swimming lesson no less than 7 times and is so chuffed with himself.

My mum came home from her holiday and QLD and brought me the most beautiful earrings from Eumundi markets.

And next week - I'll be in week 10. And I'll have 4 weeks to go.


Only bad news that I have is my next deadline is looming. 17th November and my 1st draft of results is due. Best get onto that, eh?

Oh yeah and that I haven't been to the gym in almost 3 weeks but I'm off tomorrow for pump then cycle, wish me luck because I think I'm gonna need it.

ok, mood has cleared.

Sorry for the last grumble post. I don't do "sick" very well. The upside of all of the events of the past week are; I've lost 4kgs!! Downside is, it is most likely water loss and it will be back soon enough. My oldest son J has managed to also recover, returning to both Kinder and cc today and it looks like the man of the house has managed to escape the horror of tummy terrors! Lucky man.

I went back to work today, I felt awful - I'd missed more than 3 days there last week and I went back to one of my patients going home and 4 new ones coming in, so a very busy day! The time is just running away from me, I can't quite believe that it is week 8 of my placement! I'm now at the point where I am pretty much independent, and I loike it a lot.

So many things going on in the world at the moment, my mind is constantly distracted by what is going on around me, to the point of neglecting my own studies (naughty) - but I've been hungrily devouring anything written about the much discussed "financial crisis" that is threatening the economy - I read this for a number of reasons - obviously the selfish reasons of wondering and trying to imagine how and if it is going to impact me? Are they scare mongering? I know I've pretty much secured employment (even if it is just a locum position), will house prices really drop and will that enable us to buy? Selfishly I also think about the lucky position that my partner and I find ourselves in - we might be in a low income group right now, but we are only transitting at this point and we enter the next year - tripling our incomes but with little debt, so if we hold on tight, we might benefit. But then, what of all the people who will next year continue to live with incomes just like ours - struggling to survive, pay exhorbitant rents and feed their children good food on what feels like a thimble full of money? So, for these people I worry and so I hope that it doesn't get as bad as what the media are saying....

The other major thing (in case you've spent the last 22 months asleep) is the US election, due to be held in 2 days. And a time, where I really do hope that the wind of change that came sweeping Australia last November continues on down the line with Obama. What a time in history this is...

You can bet that in 50 years - this era will be critiqued by historians and economists alike - and so I might be like, a bit of a nerd, but it kinda feels exciting to be here witnessing these moments in time.

(and now I'll turn my wank-o-meter off)