Ethics committee response

Social Work Faculty of Med Nursing & Health Sciences Caulfield 26 May 2008
Miscarriage: Women's experiences of treatment in a
hospital setting

Dear Researchers,

I am writing to let you know that the
SCERH considered
your application at meeting. To enable the Committee to
satisfy itself that the research conforms to the National Statement on Ethical
Conduct of Research Involving Humans, the following issues and questions need
further clarification:

1. With regard to your responses to Q6.4, Q6.5 and Q6.6,
please explain why there is a small chance that you may be required to break
confidentiality if there is disclosure by the patient of a certain nature. It is
not clear how, or why, such information is likely to be proffered in the context
of this research – please describe.

2. Please note that letters of permission
from relevant organisations must be forwarded to SCERH before research commences
at that organisation. Please confirm that these will be sent.

3. Please delete
the words “I’ve moved up in the world” from your Explanatory Statement. Also,
please enlarge on the type of information “not directly related to the research”
that you allude to in the Explanatory Statement. Please forward the amended
Explanatory Statement to SCERH for approval.

This is the email I got today. Apparently this is a fantastic response as the things I need to change are only very minor. I would like to however, draw your attention to no.3 and the sentence "please delete the words "I've moved up on the world" from your Explanatory Statement". That had my scratching my head!! So I got out the explanatory statement and found this...

My name is A and I am conducting a research project under the supervision of C
F, a Lecturer (I’ve moved up in the world!) in the Department of Social Work
towards a BA/BSW(Honours) at...

Originally I had her as tutor - and she has come in and corrected it herself - and both she and I missed that!! I couldn't stop laughing when I realised that I had sent a 50 page application - all very carefully worded and triple checked and left a great big glaring mistake like that, especially something so hilarious as well! How funny, I bet the ethics committee got a real laugh out of it too! Anyway, back off to put finishing touches on essay. Looks like within the next month I'll be starting my recruitment process. Very exciting!

My baby lost a tooth!

Jude - aged 5 years and 1 week today lost his first tooth!

I only saw it as he was talking to me. He is nervous about it - but so far I have got out that he did it whilst he was eating an apple at Kinder and 'it just disappeared'.

I'm not ready for this!

a quick excited entry

I just put my 'buying a house with a granny-flat for my parents' to my Mother and not only does she agree with it, she thinks it is a fantastic idea. They will put some money towards the deposit (20k for instance) to enable us to get into the property market quicker and they will live with us in a granny flat. We have no ties, no restrictions on where to live - maybe out of Melbourne, maybe stay where we are, maybe Northern NSW! How EXCITING!!!!

What does Alanis Morrisette sing?

Most important two weeks of this semester. Last monday woke up and couldn't move my neck. Today I have woken up and feel zombified thanks to my precious Noah passing on some illness to me. Could anymore barriers be placed in front of my finishing this 3500 word essay worth 80 per cent? (I'll come and talk about it later). My family have gone out today, so I can concentrate on writing my essay but I just feel like crawling back into my cave.

Just had to add this in. Jude has a hi-low bed from Ikea and for the last year it has been up high, but we keep on catching Noah climbing, jumping and it was only a matter of time before we would find him crumpled on the floor after falling from it. So last night we turned the bed upside down and made it a low bed. Jude immediately asked if he could have a sleepover with Noah and James and I grimaced thinking about the night of no sleep ahead, but we begrudgingly said yes. Well...
they slept together all night without so much as a giggle or peep (oh except when Noah fell out but we had provided a cot mattress for him to soften the landing anyway!). Noah and his first night out of a cot, they looked so damn cute cuddled up together. We think we might let them sleep together for a little while, until we can afford to buy a bed for Noah. Ahh they may be forced to be brothers but they are truely best friends.

Note to self- current real estate interest... Wallan.

A look at the secret life of us...

click, click, click, tap, tap, tap . Flip, flip, flip... click, tap, tap, tap, tap . tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap etc

This is not some complicated dance move, or mating dance.

This is the sounds that eminate from the kitchen (where James is) and the study (where I am), while we struggle to finish our essays. James has to finish four essays by friday and I have two. We break to make cups of tea or have lunch and then we are straight back onto it.

I could think of many things I would rather be doing when our children are in childcare and it is just us at home, like talk for instance. But oh well, 6 months to go.

The cake!

Well here is the cake!

Unfortunately I didn't get any photos of the cupcakes, I forgot but they were a an absolute hit. I made it from an egg-free chocolate fudge recipe - iced it with pink and blue icing and using kool mints and snakes made it into an alien looking creature, then wrapped it in cellophane tied it with ribbon and a thank you card and there you have lolly bags! The cake suffered from a bit of damage due to the drive from our house to the party (leaning tower of Pisa was one description lol), but it got gasps of pleasure from the children and apparently tasted beautiful given the number of parents who came back for seconds.

The weather was shite though, absolutely shite. Apparently the coldest day in Melbourne for 30 years. But that was ok because we were in the warmth of a brand new community centre. All 30 of us. We played no games, a generous friend happily painted children's faces and they ate healthy (well mostly healthy) food. I didn't see Noah for two hours and although it got off to a shaky start (due to us arriving at said community centre late - after a couple of parents had already arrived!!! Luckily Rach was there to meet the families)!

See the alien in the picture above? James created that from playdoh and put it in the oven to cook with the cakes - for a figurine - it looked marvellous, but children kept trying to eat it! LOL. I thought I would add in a picture of Jude - face painted having a great old time. I will admit though, I started thinking about vodka from about 1.45pm. I finally got a glass of wine at about 6pm and was in bed by 8.30pm .

My MIL is here so I best go. Just wanted to report back in on the success of the 5th birthday party. Thank God there are no more parties till December ;)!

The "science" of weight loss

I have really been slacking off in the gym - and food department lately, most likely due to the pointy end of semester.

So this morning before spin I decided to hop on the scales. I expected to find that I had put on a kg or three, but I am still losing? WT?

Speaking of fatty goodness today I have to go shopping for my son's birthday party tomorrow. He is having no less than 17 of his friends (not including siblings) at his party tomorrow and he has asked to have the 'fairy castle' from the Womens Weekly cook book as his cake. My ingredients for the cake look something like this;

1kg butter
2 packets of marshmallows
400g jam rollettes
4 curly wurlies
3 packets of jelly


I am a notorious over caterer, so this year I have tried to limit the food to;

muesli bars (which I have already made)
vegie crudite's and chickpea dip
warm little pizza bits (James' speciality)
fruit platter with strawberry yoghurt dip
cheese and bacon balls (hey, I have to include them - James and I LOVE them)
fairy bread
lemonade (I have been begged for lemonade)

Now to me that doesn't seem enough, but I also don't want to be left with mounds and mounds of food like last year. We have also decided against lolly bags with cheap crappy toys in them. They are so wasteful, so this year I am going to make egg free chocolate fudge cupcakes and decorate them as aliens, wrap them nicely with cellophane and present them to the child when they leave.
I'm no Martha Stewart, but I'll show you the pictures tomorrow regardless of what happens lol.

A rant

You know what? I'm really getting sick of people whinging and whining about they are hard done by because they earn 150k as a household. I'm seeing it on a forum that I frequent and it is making me so damn mad!

Last night the Australian Federal Government handed down their first budget of their electoral term. As part of their budget they are means testing some of the payments, including the 'baby bonus' - to 150k per household and making changes to the Child care Rebate and Family Tax benefits part B. This is fantastic and in my opinion didn't go far enough, 150k is MORE than reasonable - it is way above the average household income, so I think it is more than fair.

But. No, due to the hangover of the Howard years - where he fed everybody welfare, regardless of income, people have come to expect that welfare is rightfully theirs.

What is rich? Rich is not having to worry about putting food on your table. Rich is not worrying about how you are going to pay your rent. Wealth is too. Wealth is about being comfortable and knowing that tonight your children will sleep safe and warm in their beds.

There is no figure on this. If you can afford to do it, you are rich. Full stop. I'm sorry to all the rich people who have lost their welfare payments due to the budget. But, I'm sure that with a bit of perspective, you might look to the people who you share this country with who will go to sleep tonight on cardboard, enter their local welfare agency to get some food vouchers and hope and pray they can make it to their next Centrelink payment day and then realise just how wealth you actually are.

I am rich. My children might dress in 2nd hand clothing, but they are dressed warmly, well fed, they sleep under a roof and they eat 3 meals a day. I'm so very lucky that we have payments directed through the Government that acknowledge the importance of us obtaining an education, and support us (meagre though it is) to do this.

When I am earning next year, I will expect and HOPE that the Government continues to tax me and provide help and support to those that need it most. And that is NOT to the people who have 150k incomes, even if they live in Sydney!!

Happy birth day, Jude.

This story is long. The labour was very very long. I had been having painful braxton hicks contractions for quite a few days leading up to the 10.05.03 which was a Saturday. The day before, a Thursday I went and got my hair done and had a relaxing pedicure. According to my mother a pedicure will bring on labour! I did start having contractions soon after but they were all over the place. So we went walking and the next day we went into town to shop at Myers before my 38 week antenatal appointment. I started to feel a bit sick and so we had to sit down before going up to the birth centre to make sure everything was alright. The midwife believed that everything was ready for labour and that I prob wouldnt make my next appointment that was made for the following Wednesday. I was a bit excited by that!!



The next day mum and I went shopping at the new shopping centre at Richmond BIG mistake. As soon as we got there I started having painful contractions. They were coming with some regularity, so we decided to go home and monitor them more closely. That night they were coming quite close together so we decided to go into the birth centre I thought that it was it! But alas the pains stopped again! The midwife decided to take a look and did an internal. She told me that I was indeed in the beginnings of labour as I was 2-3cm dialated and that she would probably be seeing me in the next 24 hours. When I got home I had quite a bit of a show and the contractions became fiercer! Every 5 minutes I was getting a contraction so I got in the shower to relieve them. I spoke to my baby and asked that we get a bit of a break at least until the morning as I was exhausted and so were my support people.



So Sunday came and went with only painful twinges. Sunday night the pains got stronger and we began to time them again. I kept in contact with the midwives at the birth centre and they encouraged me to keep staying at home until I could not bear it. I began to feel disheartened, all these contractions but not much happening. No waters breaking, nothing. On Monday morning, I woke and burst into tears as the pains had ebbed away again. As a last ditch effort DH and I had sex to try and move things along and boy did they ever! I rang the midwife again and she said that they wanted me to come in as I had been contracting for a few days and they wanted to check me out. This seemed to be all the encouragement the babaa needed 5 minutes apart contractions that were very painful. So at 11:30am on Monday we went back to the birth centre where they did another internal and found me at 4cm dialated and told me I could stay.

I got on the swiss ball and did lots of pelvic rocking trying to open up my pelvis. We had lovely lavender and clary sage oil burning in the room to encourage labour. I had a couple of showers with James applying heat to my back as I had terrible pain in my back throughout and between contractions. When midwives came in, I was distracted by them and my contractions would disappear again. This is where my labour sat until 9pm 2 to 4 minutes apart contractions another midwife came in and examined me and found me to be 7cms dialated but my blood pressure very high and suggested a bath to relax me. The bath was beautiful and my contractions died right down while I was in there. The problem was, when I got out they didnt pick back up. I tried everything but they were just erratic and all over the place. Finally at 11.15pm Rebecca (the third midwife I had had since arriving) decided to do an internal and found that I had not dialated any further and so decided to rupture the membranes. The warm gushy feeling was amazing the relief that the waters were not meconioum stained was amazing if they had of been I would have had to be transferred immediately to the normal labour ward. I stood up and I felt the bubabaloo move downwards and fell to my knees with three huge contractions that were hundreds of times more painful than before.



Rebecca moved me to the shower with James and there the pain got indescribable. The contractions were coming one on top of each other and the only way I felt relief was when I went into a full squat whilst James sprayed my back with boiling hot water. I got angry and punched the wall because there was no way I could get away from the pain. James took my cues and left me in silence whilst I dealt with the pain. When the contraction ebbed away I would come up to a standing position and drink cold water. Rebecca left me alone to get on with it but started coming in with more regularity to check the babies heartbeat. Time stood still for me but at some point at the end of my contraction I felt a need to push. I moved to the toilet because I felt I had to poo. so I sat there and had a few contractions whilst Rebecca monitored the heartbeat. She told me that I could come back to my room when I felt like, but I wanted more shower because I honestly felt a little scared of what was going to happen. A few contractions later I felt ready so we made our way back to my room where the lights had been turned down and a mat brought out underneath the bed. It was set up for me to kneel down. I still felt the need to push and asked Rebecca whether this was OK. She told me if I really really felt the need to push then have a go. That was all the encouragement I needed. I started to yell through the contractions but Rebecca quite sternly told me not to waste my energy and push into my bottom. Once I started to do that, it felt quite amazing there was pain but this pain was actually doing something and I started grunting through them. I was very hot and ended up having flannels dipped in ice on my neck and upper back and continued to sip water after each contraction.



All I could hear was Rebecca who encouraged me and told me when to stop. I notice her get up and bring back a pack. Somewhere in the back of my mind I thought that maybe I was getting closer to delivery. A few more pushes and then I felt the babies head at the opening. Rebecca was packing my perinium with hot water towels which felt like heaven. She directed me to push push push and then hold onto it by panting to keep the babies head there. I felt fear because it felt like my vagina was going to be split in two but Rebecca told me not to be scared everything was OK. I trusted her and then the baby started to emerge by itself. The next contraction I pushed his head out and then I got this uncontrollable urge to push Rebecca was getting James ready to deliver his own baby, but I couldnt help it and out he slithered. Instant relief and instant screaming. Rebecca said to look down at my baby between my legs and I did. It was a beautiful boy. He was covered in blood and meconioum (apparently done after his head was born). She told me to pick him up but I was terrified, it was like I had never seen a baby before.





She left him attached to me for a few minutes before allowing James to cut the cord. He was humungous. They weighed him a few hours later and he was a whopping 9 pounds 2.5 ounces and 57cms long. My mum was the most amazed she was exclaiming "No drugs! you did that with NO drugs". I couldnt quite believe it myself. I wasnt against using pain relief it just never occurred to me to do so. I think it had to do with the fact my labour was around for so long starting and stopping. I also managed to get through it all with only a few stitches needed (apparently his foot got caught on the way out in that last push). My perinium massages and raspberry leaf tea was not done in vain! It was an hour and three quarters between the time my waters were broken and the beginning of second stage and my second stage lasted a whole 32 minutes. My boy Jude Samuel Ian is the most beautiful little boy and what a story for him to hear in a few years time.

(I wrote this 4 days after he was born and posted it on a internet forum on the 19th of May, 2003).

This is what Mothers day is all about for me...

My boys - together, happy with the world and each other.... (not taken today lol, but still what a shot)














All immediate family together and accounted for.












Jude's birthday is in 2 days. Today we broke open his money box - he had $62.50 in there!! We took him to the shops and told him he could spend it how he wished. He wanted to buy Noah a present but we encouraged him to spoil himself. He came home with a roundtable for his train set and a batman outfit. I can't believe that in 2 days, my oldest child turns 5. Prepare yourself to go back in time with me. Because birthdays are such a special time to me, I have all these little minor celebrations - including birthday dinner, where the person celebrating their birthday gets to choose dinner and do you know what Jude wants most of all for dinner?? 'White soup', or Cauliflower soup, followed by jelly and perhaps rainbow ice cream. I think I'm going to buy him an ice cream cake. Precious, gorgeous little boy.

Today for Mothers day - the most precious gift was a beautiful bracelet that Jude made at Kinder. James also bought me some gym gear - in size 12 and it FITS! We then took my Mother out for breakfast - and we savoured every bit of it. I had french toast with a blueberry compote and maple syrup (oh and a side of BACON ROFLOL).

Hope everybody else had a lovely weekend with their families.

The evil internet

A tip;

While waiting for your husband to bring home Hungry Jacks* it is probably not the best idea to look up the nutrional information on the internet. Is now the right time to admit I haven't been to the gym for 3 days?

*hey, we were up all night reading/writing essays and watching Lost! We are allowed some junk food

This morning 'goodbye Judey, I'm off to Uni today - have a lovely day'.
'oh mummy you smell like a star!'

Why yes son, I do!

I'm off to collapse into bed.

Drowning...

Right now I feel like I am anxiously trying to crawl up out of a deep, dark, muddy hole. I've already had a meltdown today - blaming something RIDICULOUS on James and yelling and causing a hullaballoo about it. He did what any kind hearted man would do, took the boys out and came back with Pink Lady Chocolate covered raspberries.

And still, there is approximately 1000 words to write by tomorrow.

Why did I ever think I would be able to cope with final year uni AND my honours year. This is going to be a disaster.

My poor babies, having to witness the crumbling of their mother about stupid UNI work.

Current essay quandry

Just thought I would waste a bit of time so I could share with you the current essay Iam writing;

due friday -worth 50%
2250 words

• choose one aspect of Australian's immigration policies and describe the
  pertinent aspects of policy briefly
• Analyse the impact of these policies; that is, analyse where you think these
  policies have a humane and ethical impact and where they might fall short of
  these goals
• Refer to the AASW Code of ethics and analyse the dilemmas and contradictions
  that arise for Social Workers
• Speculate what impact these developments might have on case work practice
  and how these might be dealt with
• Conclude with recommendations you would like to see to the policy area you
  have selected.

~

I have decided to write on the humanitarian policy program. That is the refugee - incorporating the "lawful" way of applying for a visa (applying from overseas OR in Australia on another visa) and the "unlawful" way (ie -attempting to come here illegally). This is SO tough, the legislation is changing rapidly probably due to the political sensitiveness of the situation. The rules are very confusing and I can barely undertand all the rules and regulations put forward by the Immigration department, how would someone who doesn't speak English and possibly traumatised possibly cope with this? There are all these crazy rules and it seems that if you come here illegally, you are NOT eligible for permanent residency? And you get mandatory detention for your effort, that is if you are lucky to make it onto mainland - given the Governments creating Offshore excise - eg Nauru and PNG to take would be asylum seekers to another country where they are held whilst applications are processed. The Gov says this will act as a deterrant for this illegal behaviour, but all I see is imprisonment and punishment for displaced people who could possibly have experienced great trauma prior to arriving.

They say it isn't correctional imprisonment, but well, when you detain someone in a facility what are the differences? At least prisoners get detained with a sentence. From what I can tell asylum seekers get put in them until their applications have been processed, for which there is no time limit. And then, they get charged for the accomodation on deportation. 'Hey Mr. B - you are more than welcome to come back here, as long as you pay your $150,000 bill we might offer you a visa'. $150k to be locked up in a detention facility.

Innocent till proven guilty? Or naughty person trying to take away our wealth till proven as a refugee.

I can't quite formulate why this makes me feel ill, but this:

This practice reflects Australia's sovereign right to determine which
non-citizens are admitted or permitted to remain in Australia and the conditions
under which they may be removed.

is like flexing our muscles and saying ... oh yes, you want this - but only WE can determine whether you are worthy..and first you must pass health AND character tests mawhaahahahahahahahahahha!

And obviously this goes against most of what Social Work stands for ie

'The social Work profession is commited to pursuit and maintenance of human
well-being. Social Work aims to maximise the development of human
potential and the fufillment of human needs, through an equal committment
to:

• Working with and enabling people to achieve the best possible levels of
  personal and social well-being
• working to achieve social justice through social development and social
  change

So yes, I have much thought on this essay - now if only I could make myself write the bugger. On that note, I best be off to magically write 1000 words.

Home again, home again..

Yes Mum and Mario made it home in one piece! But boy-o-boy do they have some stories to tell of their adventures. The whole way home from the airport they regailed their funky luck - with everything from the airport misadventure (which by the by almost threatened to happen to them again last night in Hong Kong, at the boarding gate they made them wait until the very end to board as they didn't have some right type of confirmation - mum was ready to bare her teeth!).

So very nice to see them home. I scored a bottle of 'Allure', thanks mum. They are coming back to bring the children their stuff - the boys wanted postcards of everywhere that they have been.

I haven't updated this blog for a few days as I've been absolutely snowed under with my uni work.

Quote of the day

Upon setting up 'rules' for the house - ie inside voice, cleaning bedroom every night - Jude piped up with 'Oh Mum, can you write no rude words like stupid bum-bum and FUCKING HELL on the rules please?' I just about dropped the plate I was washing up. Now reader don't get me wrong, I swear like a banshee around my friends, on here etc. But I do not curse anywhere near my precious child. Where on earth did he get that from?
Worst part about a 2 year old having a big brother..? Now Jude isn't allowed to say 'stupid bum-bum', but he makes Noah do it. And Noah does it with gay abandon.

Just yesterday at a park in Torquay, a boy twice his age was trying to climb up the slide when Noah was trying to slide down it. He growled at him and said.. 'MOVE YOU STUPID BUM-BUM! '. Egad! How do you stop this? No fear Noah! My friend laughed at me yesterday saying 'oh a teacher and a social worker, what marvellously behaved children you will have'. I laughed hysterically at her, because sometimes I feel like I am just being swept along for the ride with my two children. Don't get me wrong, their bond has to be seen to be believed, they talk their own language and can't sleep without each other, but the trouble they get up to!

Anyway, off to pick the little rascals up now.